What's not a good idea is holding all of this newly discovered mental suitcase full of previously mentioned emotions inside. I didn't know really who to talk to about it, but of course and as usual, the Universe took care of that for me. A conversation with my co-worker/friend/fellow yoga gal Meredith turned into a really awesome conversation about my yoga journey and all of these crazy emotions and doubts I'm having. Meredith had the insight and wisdom I really needed and we had a very real and raw conversation. Best thing that could have happened to me mid-journey.
Meredith helped me see that I need to quash these "big expectations" I set for myself and learn to celebrate the "little victories." I do this, you see. I set massive expectations for myself. And I almost always experience serious letdowns as a result. Yoga, through Meredith, has finally taught me that this is a ridiculous ritual (insanity, anyone?), a mad cycle I continue to put myself through. And if not for yoga, I may have not learned this valuable lesson. Over the last few days, since our conversation, I realized all of the little victories I had missed celebrating without some sort of "but, still" of dissapointment attached. So, I made a list:
1) I can do Pigeon Pose. I can do Pigeon Pose!
2) I did 108 Sun Salutations in Zilker Park. Go me!
3) I am sleeping better.
4) My clothes are fitting better.
5) This is a BIG one, especially those of you who have known me for a very long time. My double-chin-itis is cured. This has been a long, long battle. (Yoga can heal chin fat. I am living proof. Can I get an Amen?!)
Even better, I now really only have two expectations going forward in this journey now. One: Yoga will continue to change and mold me, slowly but surely and when and how it is supposed to. Two: I know there will be little victories and I WILL celebrate them!
Namaste.
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