I obviously took a break from blogging. I also took a break in my 40-day challenge.
RA is really a manic disease. While most of the time I feel great and something like yoga only does an RA body good, out of nowhere this disease can bring me down. Hard. And during this challenge I had been on SUCH a high, feeling so great and proud of my body for pushing through, I wasn't really prepared for what this 40-day challenge would look like if I had a flare ( a bout of disease symptoms). But I did have a flare and I dealt with it the best way I know how. Sleeping 10-15 hours a day and battling on-going fatigue plus joint cramps is never fun, but I've gotten through it and I'm on the upswing. Getting back into classes just in time for the 3rd and last leg of this race.
There are some great Yoga resources out there to support me (and YOU!) when getting to class just isn't an option. Below are some fantastic ways to continue a yoga practice, whether it is Asanas, Meditation, Visualization or just Education.
YogaGlo.com: YogaGlo is an online community of classes you can enjoy from the comfort of your own home. It's extremely affordable and there are SO MANY classes to choose from, led by truly amazing yoga teachers. If you're thinking about Yoga but are unsure if it's for you, try this affordable option and take the opportunity to try as many different classes as you have time for.
Yoga Journal: Yoga Journal is like the NPR of Yoga. Anything you'd like to know about it can be found here, including articles and updates, plus inspiring stories. When I talk abut Asanas, I usually link it to a pose on Yoga Journal because their pictures and instruction are so easy to understand.
Snatum Kaur: Snatum Kaur's voice is nothing short of magical. This music can truly transform a yoga practice of Asana and/or Meditation. Her lifelong (literally) yoga journey is amazing and inspiring and can be read here. I would encourage anyone seeking healing and practice through music to purchase some of her music.
Spirit Voyage: Spirit Voyage is the music mega-store of Yoga and Meditation music. Plus, you can find other cool yoga stuff there too, such a clothes and props. Great choices and affordable prices!
The Secret Power of Yoga: A great read that has joined me in this 40-day challenge. This book is special because it is the first time a woman has translated the Yoga Sutras. A very inspiring and uplifting read, Secret Power is a great way to understand the "how and why" of Yoga.
Going To Pieces Without Falling Apart: Someone gave me this book 15 years ago and it still sits next to my bed, there when I need a little perspective. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness by Dr. Mark Epstein is not a book intended to convert you to Buddhism. Rather, it serves more as a guide on how to live life more wholly, to forgive ourselves when we fail and to find valuable lessons in everything we do, even the mistakes. LOVE THIS BOOK. While it's not about Yoga directly, it is a great guide to creating a mindset of peace and understanding, both assets to any Yoga practice.
Thank you for your patience during my journey and for continuing to follow it, bumps in the road and all. I hope you are inspired to find a little peace and understanding in your life and feel like you have a good handful of resources to do so!
Namaste.
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Friday, April 8, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Big Expectations and Little Victories: Part 2
What's not a good idea is holding all of this newly discovered mental suitcase full of previously mentioned emotions inside. I didn't know really who to talk to about it, but of course and as usual, the Universe took care of that for me. A conversation with my co-worker/friend/fellow yoga gal Meredith turned into a really awesome conversation about my yoga journey and all of these crazy emotions and doubts I'm having. Meredith had the insight and wisdom I really needed and we had a very real and raw conversation. Best thing that could have happened to me mid-journey.
Meredith helped me see that I need to quash these "big expectations" I set for myself and learn to celebrate the "little victories." I do this, you see. I set massive expectations for myself. And I almost always experience serious letdowns as a result. Yoga, through Meredith, has finally taught me that this is a ridiculous ritual (insanity, anyone?), a mad cycle I continue to put myself through. And if not for yoga, I may have not learned this valuable lesson. Over the last few days, since our conversation, I realized all of the little victories I had missed celebrating without some sort of "but, still" of dissapointment attached. So, I made a list:
1) I can do Pigeon Pose. I can do Pigeon Pose!
2) I did 108 Sun Salutations in Zilker Park. Go me!
3) I am sleeping better.
4) My clothes are fitting better.
5) This is a BIG one, especially those of you who have known me for a very long time. My double-chin-itis is cured. This has been a long, long battle. (Yoga can heal chin fat. I am living proof. Can I get an Amen?!)
Even better, I now really only have two expectations going forward in this journey now. One: Yoga will continue to change and mold me, slowly but surely and when and how it is supposed to. Two: I know there will be little victories and I WILL celebrate them!
Namaste.
Meredith helped me see that I need to quash these "big expectations" I set for myself and learn to celebrate the "little victories." I do this, you see. I set massive expectations for myself. And I almost always experience serious letdowns as a result. Yoga, through Meredith, has finally taught me that this is a ridiculous ritual (insanity, anyone?), a mad cycle I continue to put myself through. And if not for yoga, I may have not learned this valuable lesson. Over the last few days, since our conversation, I realized all of the little victories I had missed celebrating without some sort of "but, still" of dissapointment attached. So, I made a list:
1) I can do Pigeon Pose. I can do Pigeon Pose!
2) I did 108 Sun Salutations in Zilker Park. Go me!
3) I am sleeping better.
4) My clothes are fitting better.
5) This is a BIG one, especially those of you who have known me for a very long time. My double-chin-itis is cured. This has been a long, long battle. (Yoga can heal chin fat. I am living proof. Can I get an Amen?!)
Even better, I now really only have two expectations going forward in this journey now. One: Yoga will continue to change and mold me, slowly but surely and when and how it is supposed to. Two: I know there will be little victories and I WILL celebrate them!
Namaste.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Big Expectations and Little Victories: Part 1
Monday night's Yoga Nidra really put a kink in my plans. My 40-day plan, that is.
For the first half of this challenge, I had done a pretty good job of putting aside my doubt and frustration, choosing my intentions at the beginning of class carefully (it is almost always "I am here for me"), and ignoring a growing sadness in my chest, a dissappointment in myself. You see, it's been a long time since I've had to learn something new and practice patience in the length of time it takes to learn something new. I grew up a dancer and for years I danced and I was good at it. I was so young when I started, I don't remember struggling to be good at it. I played a musical instrument almost my entire childhood and though I struggled sometimes, for the mostly part it came quite naturally to me. Same with the work in my adult life. When I fell into the work I have done for 12 years now, I knew it was meant for me and even with the detours I've taken, it's always been a second nature.
I feel like yoga is right for me. I have the same sense as I did as a dancer, a musician and now a fundraiser. But yoga. Yoga is a completely opposite practice of anything else I've done. It is learned differently, in ways my body and mind have never been exposed to. It is the first big life-altering thing I've done that feels right in my soul, but my body doesn't seem to follow. In other words, this learning curve is much bigger than anything else I've learned in life. It's bigger than me, bigger than life itself.
Like I've said before, we're told and we read that one person cannot achieve perfection in yoga in their lifetime. And while I love the idea of always being a student of yoga, never being bored, falling into the same mundane routine, always learning something new that is rewarding and fulfilling, I have found myself at a hard point in this practice. Yoga Nidra got in my head. It got in my HEAD. And while I realize this is the purpose of it, I couldn't have anticipated the effects of it after just one class.
My regular Tuesday beginner's series class was really tough on me. I felt off, overwhelmed, distracted. It was also the night we were taught Camel Pose (Ustrasana). The camel pose opens up the Heart Chakra and is associated with love and inner emotions (hope, fear, despair, envy, compassion, anger.) According to Lexi Yoga, camel pose results in "a rush of enporphins and a flush of emotions." I hadn't even moved into the modified, prop-supported camel pose fully when I felt a very unfamiliar and overwhelming feeling in my chest and had to pull myself out and sit in child's pose while the rest of class practiced camel pose. Intense.
In previous posts, I've written about a few emotional experiences I've had so far, such as with the gong. But what is happening right now isn't a one-time thing. It's as if there are many layers to this journey and before Yoga Nidra, I'd barely scratched the surface. Yoga Nidra peeled back a really thick layer that was hiding self-doubt, regret, fear, and dissapointment.
To be continued...
For the first half of this challenge, I had done a pretty good job of putting aside my doubt and frustration, choosing my intentions at the beginning of class carefully (it is almost always "I am here for me"), and ignoring a growing sadness in my chest, a dissappointment in myself. You see, it's been a long time since I've had to learn something new and practice patience in the length of time it takes to learn something new. I grew up a dancer and for years I danced and I was good at it. I was so young when I started, I don't remember struggling to be good at it. I played a musical instrument almost my entire childhood and though I struggled sometimes, for the mostly part it came quite naturally to me. Same with the work in my adult life. When I fell into the work I have done for 12 years now, I knew it was meant for me and even with the detours I've taken, it's always been a second nature.
I feel like yoga is right for me. I have the same sense as I did as a dancer, a musician and now a fundraiser. But yoga. Yoga is a completely opposite practice of anything else I've done. It is learned differently, in ways my body and mind have never been exposed to. It is the first big life-altering thing I've done that feels right in my soul, but my body doesn't seem to follow. In other words, this learning curve is much bigger than anything else I've learned in life. It's bigger than me, bigger than life itself.
Like I've said before, we're told and we read that one person cannot achieve perfection in yoga in their lifetime. And while I love the idea of always being a student of yoga, never being bored, falling into the same mundane routine, always learning something new that is rewarding and fulfilling, I have found myself at a hard point in this practice. Yoga Nidra got in my head. It got in my HEAD. And while I realize this is the purpose of it, I couldn't have anticipated the effects of it after just one class.
My regular Tuesday beginner's series class was really tough on me. I felt off, overwhelmed, distracted. It was also the night we were taught Camel Pose (Ustrasana). The camel pose opens up the Heart Chakra and is associated with love and inner emotions (hope, fear, despair, envy, compassion, anger.) According to Lexi Yoga, camel pose results in "a rush of enporphins and a flush of emotions." I hadn't even moved into the modified, prop-supported camel pose fully when I felt a very unfamiliar and overwhelming feeling in my chest and had to pull myself out and sit in child's pose while the rest of class practiced camel pose. Intense.
In previous posts, I've written about a few emotional experiences I've had so far, such as with the gong. But what is happening right now isn't a one-time thing. It's as if there are many layers to this journey and before Yoga Nidra, I'd barely scratched the surface. Yoga Nidra peeled back a really thick layer that was hiding self-doubt, regret, fear, and dissapointment.
To be continued...
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