I came this close (" ") to not going to class last night. It was a hurried day, a frustrating day, an exhausting day and I thought maybe my body needed a break. I knew I wouldn't be able to make the class I had intended to because it was at another location farther from my house. So, I looked at the schedule of my usual studio and the only class I could conceivably do without looking like a lost fool was Kundalini of Sound. I called the studio on my way home and asked if the class for an option for all levels and was told that it's an advanced class but newbies attend all of the time. I resided to go to the class if I got home in time to change and get there without being late.
About 8 years ago I practiced Kundalini Yoga for a year, once or twice a week beginners classes. Until last night, I didn't have much recollection about the classes.
I arrived at the studio and watched the people who were walking into the class. They all had extra stuff: blankets, double mats and these fuzzy sheep skin mats. I decided to wait outside class for Guru Karam. She taught my classes 8 years ago and I wanted to check in with her to see if she thought it was a good fit for me. Her response? "Oh, yeah, You'll be fine! C'mon. C'mon now. Come in, it's fine!" (perhaps you can imagine my hesitation and her needing to coax me into the room.)
And it was fine. Kundalini was like riding a bicycle. Only a bicycle on a track with lots and lots of big, steep hills. Kundalini is all about matching the breath with repetitive motions, motions that engage multiple muscles and joints. It's intense. Last night's class was all about the digestive system (read: abdominal muscles.) We also did two meditations with chants (AWESOME).
But then, as we prepared for Savasana (also known as Corpse Pose or Resting Pose), Guru Karam said the "G" word. Gong. Even typing it I have to catch my breath. When she said she'd be playing the gong during Savasana, I suddenly remembered the power that gong had over me 8 years ago, which was also a very transformational time in my life. The gong is used in Kundalini yoga to facilitate the movement of Prana (vital life energy) through the body for healing.
Everyday I find affirmation that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing for myself during this 40 day journey.
My eyes welled up with tears before the gong even started. But on that first sound, tears started flowing from my eyes and I could not stop. The sound was so radiating and I felt it move through me starting at my heart center and vibrating like a raindrop in a pond throughout my whole body from the very middle to all of the very tips of all of me. And as we laid there for 10 minutes, I let the gong guide me through months of sadness, loss, worry, anger, and fear. Words I couldn't find before suddenly were right there with me. I was able to silently articulate my gratefulness to my father-in-law, my sweet kitty Henry, and my dear, dear dog Tucker for allowing me to be a part of their life while they were on this earth. These past few months have brought us such loss and I didn't know how to deal with all of it. I don't know how that gong does it, but it brings healing. And last night I started to heal.
Talk about being in the right place at the right time. After the fiascoes of yesterday (still unhappy about that flat tire, Universe) I realize it was all a build up to prepare me for Kundalini class. I'm adding this class to my weekly schedule because I see its value in my journey. And also because the gong is like Lay's Chips ("you can't eat just one,") but without all of the fat and calories.
At the end of a Kundalini class, everyone sings Long Time Sun:
May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light that is within you
Guide your way on.
Namaste.
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