Day One

I feel amazing.

This morning I felt the opposite of amazing. From the moment my alarm went off at 6:45am, the universe was testing me. Testing my commitment to this 40-day journey. When the alarm went off, I felt completely unrested. It reminded me of the restless night I'd had. I hit the snooze button until 7:30, completely ignoring the fact that I needed to leave the house by 8am, and not before I completed an 11 minute meditation.

I motivated myself enough to sit still in meditation for 1 minute. I left the house, hair wet, at 8:05. I sat in traffic on MoPac, then had to stop by the office because I left paperwork there that I needed for my 9am dr. appt. Arrived at my appt. at 9:01am. When I turned in my new patient paperwork, I was asked for my insurance card. I realized my wallet was missing. Went back to my car, found the wallet, handed over the goods. Thankfully, the appointment was good and the doctor was really great. (Need a good allergist? I know one!)

At work, the day dragged on. On my mind all day was that I HAD to go to yoga class, akin to feeling like I HAD to go to the dentist. I was exhausted, I had a ton of work to get done, and what I really wanted to do was go home, put on pjs and watch Gilmore Girls reruns. My mind was jumbled with overwhelming thoughts of all the things that needed to be accomplished at work and at home.

"I am paying for these yoga classes." That's what I reminded myself. So, I changed into yoga clothes at the office, asked Erin to take a "before" picture of me so I could compare on day 40. And off to Day One I went.

Class was crowded. I happened to be in that one spot with just enough room around me that I need to move to accommodate the people who came in late. I shifted my mat at least 3 times, the 3rd time for a sweaty, stinky girl who came in with all her bike gear. I felt grr. I couldn't find my center.

Our teacher, Lizzy, started the class with a funny from a book she's reading about Zen lifestyle. It was, actually, funny. I felt a little weight lift from me with my silent chuckle. She then started talking about the 40-day challenge and what she was planning to do for 40 days. She asked the class to sign up for it and I felt good about already committing myself to the challenge. I took a moment to forgive myself for doubting my commitment all day and I felt grateful that I made the decision to come to class. We laid down on our backs for our first movement and I found my center. The crowded room was suddenly empty and I was there by myself. Just me and the instructor's voice.

Tonight in class I realized that today's theme was forgiveness. It's okay that I didn't do everything I set out to. I didn't starting reading my book (more on that tomorrow), I didn't get in 11 minutes of meditation. I have time to make these things happen. But I did go to class. And I'll go tomorrow and the 38 days after that.

I feel amazing. Namaste.